I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize