TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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