Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize