3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize