i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize