Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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