Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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