He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
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Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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