how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize