Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
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I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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