You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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