i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you would pick up someone in the library
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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