so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
tell me about the eggs
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