Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize