my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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