I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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