I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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