fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Randomize