It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
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my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize