he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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