the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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