I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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