at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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