i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
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Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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