And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize