You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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