talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize