and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize