ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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