You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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