Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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