so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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