It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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