I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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