Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize