I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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