What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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