Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize