next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize