whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize