uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
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