im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
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Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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