i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whose parrot is this?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize