He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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