I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
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I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
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What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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