i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
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I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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