I love black thongs
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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