Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Your cock deserves a montage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
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