I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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