I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize